


Tell The Mirror (You Know What She’s Heard Before)

by TheSunshine_J



Series: Into the verse of Clarke’s Mind Space [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Based off of 0613 promo, Gen, No One Is Okay, The ending gives everyone closure, There Will Be Sadness, What if Scenario, getting clarke back just to see her die again, update: there’s no closure but it’s not over either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 10:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20062780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSunshine_J/pseuds/TheSunshine_J
Summary: *Title is a lyric from Billie Eilish’s idontwanttobeyouanymore, I don’t own it*Wonkru, by the command of Seidheda in Madi’s body, have taken over and blocked off a section of the ship from everyone else. The other side of the ship is being manned by Russell and the other primes.As Clarke kneels before Seidheda with a gun pressed to her temple she thinks, that if this works and Madi returns she’s got her daughter back and an army to retake the ship. If it doesn’t, well it will be the first time she’s succeeded in the one thing she has never been able to do.Die.





	Tell The Mirror (You Know What She’s Heard Before)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction for The 100 and the first thing I have written (for fanfiction) in a while. I’ve been an avid reader of this site and felt I should contribute. I’ve had this thought in my head since seeing the promo for the finale and I thought I would share. 
> 
> So without further ado...

Clarke kneels before Seidgeda in her daughter’s body and thinks maybe this moment, not Josephine taking over her body, is karma. She thinks of the time she shocked Madi to protect her and wonders if that’s why Madi wasn’t able to fight against the rogue commander. She wonders about a lot of things but as always, there’s not enough time to figure it all out. With all the guns pointed at her, she doesn’t think adding one more will make a difference. So she tries one last thing she thinks will get Madi to fight back. If she’s even still there. 

Miller, Jackson and Emori stand guarded by wonkru near the door watching on with horror as the blonde shakingly puts her gun to skin of her own temple. “Clarke, what are you doing?” Miller asks, already picturing Bellamy’s face if he has to find out Clarke has died, again. 

Seidheda, unaffected by it all, responds instead, “It should be obvious. She is attempting to ‘waken’ the child by threatening her own life. I’ve seen this before and I am bored.” He stands there glaring down at Clarke with eyes that she’d once seen filled with joy and wonder. Now, they were filled with nothingness. 

Clarke glances at Miller, pleading with him to stay quiet, to protect Bellamy if this doesn’t work, to be ready to fight if it does. Maybe he gets the message because he relaxes slightly while looking ready to snatch his gun from the guard who took it at the same time. 

She turns back to Seidheda and for the first time in her life she begins to list all of the losses in her life that led her to this moment. 

“I lost my mother today,” she cries, “and my father many years before that. I’ve lost the love of my life to the hands of someone who meant to kill me. I’ve lost all of my friends and just when I thought I got them back I screwed it up by picking the wrong side. I was the one who could see the end result, the lives of many over the lives of one. Even it meant losing a piece of myself, my conscience. I made the difficult decisions knowing I wouldn’t ever be thanked for it. But for Madi, another girl who began her life in hiding, who’d lost her parents to praimfaya, I promised I would do anything to protect her from harm. That I would give her a happy life while also honoring her parents wishes, that she not be subjected to the life of a commander. If this works, if seeing me broken and pleading and sobbing on my knees works then I have not failed. If it doesn’t, then a bullet in my brain is what I deserve for failing at the one last thing I had keeping me alive.” 

Clarke sags with relief, it’s the first time she’s said that out loud and it feels kind of good to get it out. Still, she avoids looking at Miller and the others. She stares, instead, at Seidheda and watches as her truths do not move him out of her daughter’s mind. ”Please, let her have her body back, if it means I die, just let her live.” She tried pleading, her body shaking all over.

Still Seidheda says nothing. Clarke sighs, musters the last of her strength and grips her gun harder, more steady than before. “Madi, yu gonplei nou ste odon. Yu laik heda, ain gona. Meba oso na hit choda op nodotaim, ai strik natblida.” 

Her finger pulls the trigger just as Madi screams, the flame clawing it’s way from the back of her neck and falling to the ground. Madi comes to, on her knees, now at eye level with the woman who raised her. Blue eyes meet green, this time not clouded and taken over by the dark commander. “Clarke...” Madi whispers, her hands reaching out to the blonde who has black blood dripping down her temple. 

Miller stares on with disbelief as Clarke crashes face first on the floor, blood pooling around her head like a black halo. Jackson grips Miller by the arm as he leans into the wall behind him, it’s the second time he’s seen a Griffen woman die in one day and he doesn’t know if he can stand it. Emori cries and thanks of John who was so happy to know Clarke had survived, that she was still a cockroach. And now she’s died again before he could apologize for trying to kill her before. 

Madi crawls closer to Clarke, sits with her legs crumpled in her blood as she pulls her mother’s head into her lap. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She cries repetitively into Clarke’s forehead. Wonkru stands down, forming a circle around Madi to block anyone from seeing their Heda in pain. 

The doors next to Miller open, startling him out of his grief. Bellamy and the rest of the crew from the ring enter with Octavia and Gabriel, ready to fight with guns raised but immediately lower them once they’ve sensed the vibe. Miller gapes at Bellamy, “What- I thought Russell - Bellamy...” he stutters, not able to speak. How does he tell Bellamy about Clarke? He doesn’t one to be the one responsible for breaking him again. 

Abby strides in before Bellamy can answer, speaks for him, “I learned about the mesh from Clarke, killed Simone again and led Russell to an airlock. Bellamy took care of the rest. What’s going on, where’s Clarke?” She explains, her eyes scanning the crowd of Wonkru warriors in search for her daughter. 

Jackson swallows, for a moment glad to see Abby alive but wonders for how much longer she’ll be glowing once she sees her daughter’s brains on the floor. “Abby.”

He says her name once and the hopeful look on her face falls. No. She did not spend all that time flirting and coercing the man who attempted to kill her daughter just to lose her again. She shook her head, “No. Where is she?!” she shouts into the room.

Bellamy looks wildly around him, Echo squeezes his hand so tight if he could feel it would be like his circulation was being cutoff. Raven and John sag into each other, praying to some deity that they’ve not lost their chance to forgive (and ask for forgiveness) from their friend. 

Miller, eyes one of the wonkru guards who had been blocking them before. The guard moves and gestures to his comrades to move as well. The warriors move and the scene that is painted before them is heartbreaking. Madi, free from Seidheda, weeping with her chin tucked into her chest. Clarke’s head gathered in Madi’s arms, the blonde’s arms spread out like a cross, the gun limp in her left hand. 

Abby Griffen thought she’d felt the most pain seeing what she thought was Josephine Lightbourne un her daughter’s body. Nothing compares to the feeling of her heart freezing over and burning at the same time as she sees the blood drain from the bullet hole in Clarke’s head. The evidence clear that for whatever reason, her daughter had did it to herself. The doctor in her knows that victims of head wounds caused by a self-fired bullet don’t survive. 

But she rushes over anyway, removes a struggling Madi from Clarke’s body and applies pressure to the bullet wound. “Jackson, get over here! Help me, we can- we can stop the bleeding! Please. Please, I can’t go through this again Clarke.” She cries, screaming for Jackson to get down here and help her.

The other doctor pulls himself away from Miller, past a frozen Bellamy and crouches down on the other side of Clarke. He tears off a piece of his clothing and wipes the blood away from Clarke’s face, from her neck. “Abby, you know there isn’t anything we can do.” He says, his voice quiet but steady. He has to be, if Abby insists on trying anyway someone has to be the calm one and he doubts it will be her. So even as he says this, he preps Clarke for transport. Straightens her legs, gives Abby the torn cloth to press against the wound, moves Clarke’s hair away from her neck. Sees the scar where they put the mind drive, where they took the mind drive from and then put back again...wait.

“Abby,” he says, “The mind drive. She has a mind drive with her mind on it.” His voice is louder than before, struck by the wonder of it all. Had Clarke known is was there? Would she have been okay with them taking another life to bring her back? There’s no way.

Abby holds pressure to her daughter’s head tears streaming down her cheeks with no end in sight. “She wouldn’t want us to do that, even after everything. She wouldn’t want that and I’ve been down that road, I can’t go there again. But, I can’t lose her, again, like this. I can’t.” she says, looking at Jackson, thinking of ways to save her daughter. 

Madi, for the first time, says, “Ai strik natblida. That was the pass phrase to the flame. I changed it because I knew that only Clarke called me that. And now she is dead because I couldn’t fight him. I didn’t want to, knowing that the only person who cared for me for six years was dead. All I could think was that I deserved this because I didn’t listen to Clarke before when she warned me about the flame. You have to save her, you have to try. I can’t - I can’t!” She screams and cries and tries to get to Clarke again but Gaia has come to her and has wrapped the young girl in her arms. 

Jackson doesn’t know if anything can save Clarke, but he knows that he has to try, at least for Madi. “We operate, remove the bullet and the mind drive. We’ll store the mind drive and save it, repair what we can of Clarke’s brain. Induce a coma and put her into cryosleep. Clarke won’t want us to use another body but maybe we can give her own body time to heal.” 

No one says anything, but finally Bellamy runs out of the hallway and down another. Ages seems to past by in silence before he returns with a rack to carry Clarke on. Both he and Jackson transfer her body onto the rack while Abby continues to apply pressure. 

Abby stops them just as they’ve lifted her, “None-none of this will work if her heart isn’t beating.” No one moves to check for a pulse. 

Murphy comes over and makes Bellamy and Jackson redshift their hold on the rack. He begins compressions, “So we keep it beating for her.” 

With that said, they begin moving through the corridors, Madi trailing behind them with the rest of Arkkru and Octavia. Wonkru stays behind, a few of them taking it upon themselves to clean away the blood of Wanheda, while others took turns stomping on the flame. 

One warrior, one who’d known of Clarke from the beginning, ran after Madi and stopped her. “Wanheda has never died, Madi Kom Louwoda Klinron. She is special, Heda Lexa knew it and so does Wonkru.” He nodded at the child and went back to help clean. 

Madi stares after him, one of Clarke’s sketches coming to mind. Of a warrior her mother called Ryder, a guard Heda Lexa guard assigned to watch after Clarke. A guard who once had orders to kill Octavia but was stopped by a little blonde who was determined to save everyone. 

Who could never save herself.

_______________ /////////////____________________

Clarke, with bandages wrapped around her head and tendrils of blonde hair peaking out, lays still and pale on the white bed of the cryo chamber. The same one she woke up on before finding the planet with two suns. 

Everyone close to her stood in a half circle around her chamber, some crying others, hiding their emotions. 

Nothing was really left to be said, everyone knew that what they were doing was a long shot. And no one wanted to have that much hope just to burn again, but if anyone was to come back from this it would be Clarke Griffen. 

But Miller and Jackson and Emori had been there, had heard Clarke say that Madi was the only reason she had survived Praimfaya, had continued to fight even after her friends who had once been family gave her the cold shoulder. Would Clarke fight back this time? Would she want to? They couldn’t say but they respected Clarke in a new light and would honor her by not telling anyone about that moment. 

The moment Clarke Griffen finally gave up.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I couldn’t really kill off Clarke could I?
> 
> I think it’s pretty clear Clarke’s people won’t let her die. 
> 
> This can stand as a solo dolo one shot so if y’all don’t like it I won’t make the second part.
> 
> If there is a second part, it will be the conversations after all of this. And that Raven scene I wish we could have in which she was like, “damn, I was kind of a bitch. But like I deserved to be but damn.” Because I’m really feeling that. 
> 
> Third part will be the: did it or did it not work???
> 
> Let’s be real, a lot of this is not at all realistic but it’s fanfiction and it’s sci-fi? And is Ryder dead y’all? If so, he’s not anymore...
> 
> Let me know! 
> 
> But I hope y’all like it! :-)
> 
> Made on the spot with no edits, sorry!  
Thoughts?


End file.
